finding oneself
- girl 1: It's a weird courseload. It's mostly, like, about finding oneself.
- girl 2: Oh that's cool! I want to find oneself!
- random girl: No you don't! No you don't! You can't sleep or eat once you do!
drugs, sex, and tumbling
un homme de london ontario. lyric blog: www.hattscrib.com
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obsessed with the internet.
poor. dysthymic. funny-looking. besoin des drogues parfois.
tweet tweet
obsessed with the internet.
poor. dysthymic. funny-looking. besoin des drogues parfois.
Oct 16
Oct 08
“
i’m sick of earning nothing while i stay on the grind
i’m sick of taking drugs that’ll fuck up my mind
i’m sick of motherfuckers talking shit about mine
I think that i’ll rebut their bullshit with a nine
i’m sick of sittin in my room secluded alone
i’m sick of happy couples with someone to hold
i’m sick of nagging thoughts that won’t escape my dome
I think that i’ll expel them with this .44 chrome
“ life’s only good when my motherfuckin brain’s numb
this xanax and valium combination is insane son
fuck chasing dreams and coming up just short
i live in squalor and fight in rounds of drug sport
instead of kicking the shit out of another fighter
i kick the shit out of my brain and make my cranium a little lighter
i spend all my cash on analgesics so my budget’s tighter
but i manage to make ends meet and keep my veins on fire
credit companies calling me wanting their cash
how bout i take the plastic you gave me and shove it up your ass
this xanax and valium combination is insane son
fuck chasing dreams and coming up just short
i live in squalor and fight in rounds of drug sport
instead of kicking the shit out of another fighter
i kick the shit out of my brain and make my cranium a little lighter
i spend all my cash on analgesics so my budget’s tighter
but i manage to make ends meet and keep my veins on fire
credit companies calling me wanting their cash
how bout i take the plastic you gave me and shove it up your ass
Sep 07
“ Oh, you wanna learn something? [Summer: Yes, I do.] You want me to teach you something? [most of the students nod] Here’s a useful lesson for you: give up. Just quit. Because in this life, you can’t win. Sure, you can try. [really getting angry] But in the end you’re just gonna lose BIG TIME. Because THE WORLD is run by the Man. [Frankie: Who?] The Man. Oh, you don’t the Man? [class shakes their heads] The Man is everywhere. In the White House, down the hall, MRS. MULLINS, she’s the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, and he’s burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to The Man. It was called rock ‘n’ roll. But guess what. Oh, no. The Man ruined that too with a little thing called MTV! So don’t waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome, because The Man’s just going to call you a fat, washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just give up!
Aug 27
Well that was stupid.
My best friend had these stupid pills that he always has around. I was drinking and went crazy and was like, “Man. Can I buy one?” Obviously he said he’d just give me one being that he’s a miserable drug addict and wants to stew with company. Then I had second thoughts but he talked me back into it.
So he empties out this stupid capsule and crushes up the little pebbles and puts it into a line. I snorted it up and was almost instantly overpowered by this drug. Lying there for two hours was incredibly relaxing but soon I had to get up which led to problem one; I go to the bathroom to piss and only some comes out. I can’t force the rest out and I can feel it in there like an itch I can’t scratch. Then I start to get dizzy and light-headed as fuck. I go back and lie down and start sweating profusely.
At around the three hour mark I feel horribly sick and just want to go home. The only problem being that I drove and didn’t want to kill anyone so I was forced to spend a couple more hours there waiting to sober up enough to drive. Finally I feel confident and healthy enough to get up and go to my car. As soon as I got up I thought that I was going to vomit but toughed it out.
I get home and still can’t piss - or shit for that matter - and I start to remember that my friend had complained about the same symptom only he had no idea what caused it. Clearly it was this stupid drug. I also remembered that I had drank a ton of water without being able to piss and the possibility of hyperhydration, brain swelling, coma, then eventually death popped into my mind.
I decide to sleep anyways and hope that I wake up in the morning. I do, three hours later, and piss. That was a fucking relief. I still felt dizzy and horrible and had a massive headache so I slept for however many more hours. I was lying in bed for basically the whole day. I still don’t feel a hundred percent but a lot better than last night and am certain that the threat of imminent death has passed.
I’m never doing that shit again. I keep telling myself not to go over to that place because it’s a toxic environment and trying to kick cigarettes, alcohol, or any form of drug is almost impossible if you chill there but, being the weak-minded fool I am, he always sucks me back in.
I suppose the moral of the story is… Don’t do hydromorphone and don’t listen to drug-addict fuckwad snakes in the grass who act like friends. PEACE.
Aug 26
god the willpower it takes not to down a whole bunch of those valiums. i should be able to quit smoking.
Aug 25
